And so, another publishing miracle fell in my lap. Kinkos was about to get rich off my over-positive book-copies production.

Finishing up the "Getting Published" series now. Please enjoy the touch-and-go conclusion of finally landing THE BOOK DEAL!

And so, another publishing miracle fell into my lap. All I knew was, some things were happening. And Kinkos was about to get rich off my over-positive book-copies production. After sending five copies to the Carol Mann Agency I had another forced vacation from my writing and manuscript promotion. I don’t remember when Carol brought up her agent fee of 15%, but it must have been after she had received the manuscript copies. In any case, I still had no idea how well-respected or important my new agent was until later, when I read her name in the LA Times as part of a panel on whether or not agents should charge reading fees with submissions (she said, No). In the article she had carried the flag for all those agents in New York who believed as she did. 

I don’t remember doing much of anything during those weeks in late February, 1987, except continuing as Mr. Mom: diapers, burgers out, or PB&J at home, with a few outings to a kiddy park nearby. A quiet time. Then one morning the phone rang. It was Lisa Kaufman at Viking. She quickly got to the point. She said she thought my book had a good chance of getting through the editorial board in a couple weeks. (I didn’t understand how an editorial board worked—to pick books to publish—until I saw one in action later in a movie). Lisa then added that she had run a test for my book at a nearby Barnes and Noble bookstore, there in New York City.  She’d asked a young guy at the information desk what he thought if he learned she’d written a book called, “Feature Filmmaking at Used-Car Prices.” His answer was highly in our favor: That’s the book everyone wants! 

Lisa’s energy was again high and happy, right up until the point where I mentioned that I now had an agent. I could instantly feel her mood drop, deflated with the news. She asked for Carol’s name and contact information. I gave it and we signed off. While Lisa’s temporary loss of exuberance was a little confusing, what most stuck in my mind was the date of the editorial board’s possible decision. She said she’d know something probably by a particular early day in March––my birthday! Beyond strange. Really? One happy, or sad birthday coming up. It would be my 43rd. 

Days sped by and I heard nothing, from either the Carol Mann Agency or editor Lisa Kaufman. Finally it got to be the B-day. Around 2PM, California time, the phone rang. Nervously, I picked up. It was Lisa. Or at least I thought so. Her energy was so totally down, so terrible sounding, that I hardly recognized her. What I heard was a wrecked version of the bright-energy person I’d come to expect. There was no Hello. No pleasantries. 

“Have you talked to your agent yet?” 

“No.” (I was confused, hadn’t put two and two together yet.) 

“She’s turned down our first offer of $7500.” 

My brain instantly spun out of control. Getting published by the prestigious Viking Penguin publishing company had become, by then, a serious fantasy, still seemingly out of reach, but as big as anything I could imagine. So I obviously didn’t want to lose it (or Lisa), even to another publisher. And my agent had turned their offer down. I was stunned. 

“Can you talk to Carol?” Lisa’s old positive voice still gone, was replaced now with a pleading one. 

“Yes. I will. Of course. Bye.” 

I immediately called the Carol Mann Agency, feeling probably the most ungrounded in my entire life. Carol answered with a new-to-me chipper quality in her voice. After all, she was in the midst of the game agents love. 

“We got a first offer of $7500 from Viking. I declined it and now we’re at $10,000,” she explained. “And I got us a hardcover run (they would print 1500) and percentage hike for sales over 50,000.” 

Before she could ask my opinion, I coughed up the words, “Could we stop now?” I could tell her killer instinct was in full gear, but to her credit she relented. 

“Oh...I guess so,” answered Carol.  I heard her voice shift down a notch. 

“Sometimes it’s not worth running them through the mill.” 

And that was that! If I’d had no agent I obviously would have taken the initial $7,500 offer and kissed the ground. And I certainly would not have been aware of any hardcover possibilities. At $10,000, minus Carol’s 15% = $8500, I earned an additional $1000 and got the benefits of what a professional agent can generate. I learned later from Lisa that Viking could have gone only one more round, to $12,000, before bailing. To have lost Viking Penguin was unimaginable. And so would have been losing Lisa’s delightful energy. Sticking with the one person who had made it all happen seemed crucial to everything I felt about it. 

So the deal was struck. And my wife Julie had no clue why her stay-at-home husband was suddenly ranting and raving like a lunatic on her work phone, mumbling something about ten grand.

 * * * 

After hearing about my book deal, my sculptor friend, Charles Simonds (<https://www.cgsimondssculpture.com/>), informed me that, to his knowledge, maybe three books a year, tops, ever get picked from a top-ten publisher’s slush pile. Maybe 12,000 unsolicited manuscripts are submitted each year, making my breakthrough sale at Viking a true miracle, especially since large publishing houses don’t allow submissions without an agent. And since there were something like 12,000 publishing houses in the US, and only 125 professional literary agencies, it is much, MUCH harder to get an agent, than to get published. Go figure. Anyway, it seems that my stars had been aligned. 

Looking back now, at the series of steps that it took to land the final sale, I hope the reader will be encouraged to try his/her luck at reaching such “unattainable” goals. I have properly thanked my first agent, Jayne Walker, as I have Viking’s acquiring editor, Lisa Kaufman, in the acknowledgements of each edition of Feature Filmmaking at Used-Car Prices, declaring my appreciation of their generous services (over 100,000 thank you’s, if you count all the editions and copies in print). In any case, let this be a lesson to any readers who hear negative things about trying something against the odds. Perhaps the universe will open up for you as it did for me.

——————-

This installment ends my series on “publishing”––a journey into the world of NY and Berkeley book professionals. Hope you’ve enjoyed the ups and downs, being on my emotional roller coaster while I tried to get a filmmaking manuscript placed. May your book submissions be as fruitful (and crazily ironic) as mine.